Recovery stories
This is a very inspiring story about how Scott got through the trauma of his youth. He was sexually abused by his older brother for many years until he was in his early teens. He didn't see this as a big thing at the time but suffered from many complications in his later years.
Scott then went on to talk to people about his past and found that many others had gone through the same abuse as him and that they, too, were deeply hurt by what happened. This helped him gain the confidence and strength to talk to a professional about what happened.
Scott is now Living happily with his girlfriend, has a job that he loves and a family. He also asked me to say that he never believed that he would get through this, but with a little help and a lot of courage he made it happen.
Scott's story
Not very long ago this would have been the hardest thing in the world for me to do, write about the unthinkable! That’s how it was for me for a large part of my life, unthinkable! I couldn’t even think about what had happened during my childhood. I do have lots of great memories of being young, I have memories of playing football in the park, making dens, swimming in rivers, climbing trees etc. but there’s this part of my life where I couldn’t even remember what I was like, I couldn’t remember anything about it for years and I don’t even know how long this terrible time lasted... It could have been up to five years or it could have been just two, who knows? There’s only one real way of finding out, but I could never ask “him”. He isn’t in my life anymore and I hope that he never will be again.
I don’t want to go too much into detail for fear of having my story recognised but I do want to say that it is possible to get through the dangerous effects that abuse has on people’s lives. I was sexually abused by a member of my family somewhere around my pre-teens, the abuse itself didn’t seem like it was that important at the time. I didn’t realize that it was going to be as damaging as it was and I never knew that I was going to end up with a fear of him so large that I never wanted to see him again.
I believe that a lot of the pain and suffering that I have gone through in recent years could have been avoided if I had just told someone that it was going on. Instead I let it happen, feeling like it was normal or that it was somehow my fault. I also felt like I wasn’t going to be listened to and even if I was I couldn’t help feeling like I would upset him. I also didn’t know what would happen, how would it ever stop?
Unfortunately, I have found out in recent years that the best thing for me to do would have been to talk to someone about it, this is what I have now been doing for the past five years! I have very good friends that help me through the tough days now, I can’t emphasise enough how important actually telling someone has been. It felt like I wasn’t suffering on my own anymore, it almost felt like I had opened a door and taken the first step outside on the road to recovering from my pain and sadness.
I am now in a situation where I can happily have relationships again, this was very tough for me and I never really let the other person know how hard it could be at times. I am also in a great position in my life where I feel like anything could happen, I’ve got a great job, I love my girlfriend, I have some great friends and I don’t ever have to worry about the past anymore. This has all only been possible by talking to my friends (and the help of a counsellor). Without this I don’t know where I’d be today.
If you are suffering from abuse, please seek support now. Things do get easier, it might feel scary now but if you make this step you’ll be so much happier in the future.
Good luck to you all.
Scott